Handling my stress

I know I'm not alone in this emotion-driven habit I have, but sometimes it sure feels like it becuz I mostly do it when no one is around. Emotional binging on food. I mostly do it at night when I'm the only one still awake. I should just go to bed, but, no, I sit and "think about things".

I go to Oklahoma City next week to see my pulmonologist at Baptist integris Hospital. It's only my 4 mo check up but I still worry about it. I've been going to a pulmonologist regularly for 13 years now. I should be used to it by now. Lol This makes me want to eat!! Will I be able to do the 6 minute walk? Will I need any extra tests run? Will he say anything about transplant list? And on and on...

I've been cancer-free for 3 years now and that makes me closer to getting on the transplant list for my lungs. I need a cardiac MRI done to look at the myxoma in my heart. That is a tumor that grows slowly, is gelatinous, non-cancerous, and is shaped like broccoli. Weird, huh?!? This makes me eat! If the myxoma has grown the will try to get me on the transplant list faster because the only way they can take it out is by open heart surgery while transplanting my new lungs. I probably explained this in earlier post. I don't remember. Anyway, it scares me.

I have other things that I worry about but these are my major triggers for stress.

I do have some other ways of coping besides eating that I'll tell you about in a second. But first I have to say that I love love love to eat peanut butter and syrup. This week I've eaten it every night at about this time. Starting Wednesday, no more!!! I'm laying off sugar for a while I don't like the way I feel when I eat a lot of sugar. This is not an acceptable coping mechanism.

Another way of coping for me is drawing. I came across a style of drawing called zentangling. It's like major doodling there's a little bit more to it than that, but that's the major gist of it. I love it. It's so relaxing. I don't have to think about anything I just doodle different patterns. I saw it first on YouTube, then I looked it up through google. They say its good for children with ADD. It helps them to concentrate and focus. (Was that redundant?) I'll put a pic or 2 up that I doodled. It really does help me. You should check it out on YouTube or go to www.zentangle.com. It has tons of gorgeous zentangle art.

Of course, the other way I deal with my stress is crafting or art projects. I know I've talked about that in my other posts, but it is a big part of me now. It makes me so happy!

And, lastly, and most important is praying. I know that god listens to me, comforts me, cries with me. He's so awesome! I love him so much. Sure, I have doubts and fears and anger, but god knows me better than I know myself. He new me before I was born. He knows I'm only human, and as long as I keep my eyes on him he's going to take care of me.

I'm getting tire, I'm going to post a pic or two, say my gratefuls, and go to bed.

1. I'm grateful for god's love
2. For my mom
3. For my nurse Jesse.
4. For my stepdaughter, Elizabeth. She's going to have a baby! Yay
5. Aunt Kim. She gives me great "good morning" texts.